Art & People

Break-ups: How to handle them

One of the hardest and most painful things that a person could ever experience in life is a break up. No amount of words could exactly describe what you are feeling after a break up, especially if you are on the receiving end. If your beloved had suddenly dumped you for another person, you would be left
totally shocked, numbed and devastated. You would feel useless, insecure, unattractive, sad, uninspired and brokenhearted simply because you allowed that person to be the “center of your life” while you were only his or her “second option” and “standby partner or lover.”


Some people become so depressed after being dumped or deserted by their loved one that they forget about their own well-being and unfortunately, some of them tend to give up on life itself. It doesn’t need to be that way. The good news is, there is still life after a break-up. Yes, you heard that right. You might be wondering how this would be possible after having such a terrible experience. Below are sure ways on how to cope with a break up:

1. Cry if you must but don’t give in to depression- One of the things I’ve learned in life is that it is all right to cry after you have experienced the loss of a loved one or if something terrible happened to you. When you cry, it doesn’t mean that you are weak. It only means that you are a normal human being who lets his emotions out when he or she gets hurt by unpleasant events in your life. I discovered that after letting out a bucket of tears, I would eventually feel good and lighter inside. So I made a pact with myself that if I feel so sad or bad about something, I would have a “crying time” to let go all the pains I have inside to make me feel better.

2. Accept the inevitable- This is easier said than done. Yes, you have to accept the fact that your
loved one no longer loved you so you have no other choice but to accept it. No use staying in
the denial stage of your break up. It would only cause you more pain if you refuse to accept the truth that you and your partner are not together anymore. Accept it and be strong. That’s life. That is how you will become stronger to face the future challenges that lay ahead.


3. Don’t force yourself to forget your pain- Never, ever tell or force yourself to forget your pain. You cannot escape the pain of a heartbreak as long as you live. So you had better accept that it will always stay in your heart. So instead of forcing yourself to forget your pain, you might as well accept it and embrace it as part of your life. Then, you will grow and become a better person in the long run.

4. Remove your ex from your social media accounts- There is no use to keep your ex’s photo or connect with him or her via social media. It only rubs salt on your wound. Removing your former love from your social media does not mean that you hate him or her. It only means that you don’t want to torture yourself anymore by looking at those photos that would only rekindle deep emotions that you once had for your ex. More importantly, it is a sign that you have already accepted the fact that your ex was no longer a part of your life and that you are slowly healing.

5. Pray and Meditate- When your world seems to crumble before you, the best thing to do is to pray and meditate. This would give you peace of mind, body and soul. It would help you become attuned with your surroundings, problems and challenges and will bring you peace that you never knew existed before you broke up with your loved one. Nothing beats the power of prayer. It can make things happen, even when they seem impossible.


6. Spend time with nature- One of the greatest ways to forget your pain and escape whatever that is bothering you is to go out and spend time with nature. There is something magical about nature that gives you inner peace and a sense of happiness. Whenever I feel sad or brokenhearted I would take a hike and find a way to be with nature. It makes me happy and relaxed to see trees, grass, mountains and water around me. Somehow, whenever I am with nature, I feel closer to my Creator and it gives me comfort and strength knowing that I am not alone to face life’s challenges.

7. Meet new friends – After a break up, it would help a lot if you’d start going out to meet new friends. Don’t limit yourself to your old contacts. Try to join organizations or groups where you could meet new people and make new friends. Who knows? You might find a new love among these new friends.

8. Get a new pet – Having a pet like a dog or a cat can help you tremendously in coping up with a break up. Pets make us happy because of their playful and loving nature. They love to cuddle, kiss and hug and they would do everything to please you, just to get your attention. I always turn to my furry friend whenever I feel sad, lonely or down. He brings me immense joy and lifts up my mood and spirit.

9. Do something you love to distract you from your pain- Paint, sing, dance, read, watch TV or a movie, eat ice cream and just do something to divert your attention from your broken heart. When you do something you love, it gives you energy and helps you to focus on it. In return, you would forget other things, even your pain from a break up and eventually you would start appreciating life and become a better person in the process.


10. Exercise- There are a dozen reasons why you should exercise. However, if you are still reeling from a break up, it would be helpful if you do some exercises to keep your mind off your pain. A simple exercise, like walking or jogging would suffice. Exercise is not only good for your physical and mental health. It is also good for your emotional health. So, whenever the blues are starting to drag you down, just turn on the radio and start exercising.


11. Travel- One of the best ways to refresh your mind and lessen the pain of a break up is by traveling. You don’t need to go out of the country just to travel. You can take your car and simply drive around your area or you could visit a friend who lives afar, just to give you a chance to travel. Of course, if you do go out, just remember to take precautionary measures to protect yourself from COVID-19. Wear a mask and bring gloves or hand sanitizers for protection so you won’t have to worry about spreading any germs or virus to your family members.

12. Move on with your life- Last but not the least, you must learn to let go and move on with your life. There is no use hanging on to people who have shown that you do not matter to them anymore. Just pick up yourself and be brave enough to step away from people or circumstances that brought you pain and agony. Take a step forward, one step at a time and you will discover that despite the pain you experienced after a break up, life still has a lot of good things to offer you.

Nanju Francisco
Nanju Francisco

Nanju Francisco is a two-time media awardee in Journalism, a seasoned editor & journalist based in Bahrain. She worked as a journalist in Brunei Darussalam, a newscaster in Bahrain TV, and Editor-in-Chief in Diyaryo Pinoy Bahrain Edition.


Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: