Divorce is the end of a marriage commitment but not the end of the life! Perhaps, the process is hurting and you may be faced with loss of confidence, stress of an unknown future, loss of trust and so many more. Yet remember you learned how to walk by falling down and hurting your knees several times, this truth conveys an essential point: each failure in life is a great teacher. So if you trust this teacher, the life waiting for you after passing this deadlock will be way nicer than what you could imagine.
This article attempts to acknowledge the possible and practical ways to cope with post divorce life and regain confidence following separation.
IMPORTANT ELEMENTS TO DESIGN A POSITIVE LIFE AFTER DIVORCE:
1. BE AWARE OF THE FIVE STAGES OF GRIEF:
As per psychiatrics, following a divorce, you are likely to face five waves of grief which may differ from one person to another.
The stages are as follows:
The best way to cope with the grief is to seek help from an expert . A therapist can help you to pass through this phase safely.
2. FORGIVE YOURSELF & CORRECT YOUR MISTAKES
After being acquainted with the stages of grief, the next step is self-forgiveness. Remember that making mistakes is part of learning. Therefore, finding the mistakes and correcting them is a very important part of your journey toward regaining your confidence. According to psychologists,in the phase of forgiveness, making a list of your strengths that you admire about yourself and your weakness points that need to improve can help a lot to lead you forward.
3. REMEMBER! REGAINING YOUR CONFIDENCE WILL TAKE TIME
It is very important to keep in mind that getting your self-esteem back after divorce needs some time as it will take time till you gradually start standing on your own two feet by relying on your abilities again. So, avoid refusing to acknowledge your feelings and keep away from dating new people at the very beginning of your post-divorce life. Instead, spend some time with yourself and your inner child and get to know about all that you need to change. If you pass this step successfully, you will present yourself a bright future, whether in finding a better partner or going through another married life.
4.SURROUND YOURSELF WITH FAMILY AND TRUSTED FRIENDS:
It is very normal to feel lonely following a divorce, so the best way to avoid such feelings is leaning on the people who love you and give you support such as your family and old friends that can remind you
of your success and confidence before you got married. Remembering your pre-married life, somehow leads you to this key point that your self-esteem is not dependent on your ex-partner or your married life. Another benefit of being in the circle of loved ones is to remember that love is something beyond a romance. Love for children (if you have), love for your friends, family and above all love for yourself.
5.GAIN NEW EXPERIENCE:
Trying new activities that maybe you have always wanted to try or learning new skills and getting to know your strengths is a big step towards rebuilding your self confidence. For example, try meditation. Right at the moment of being overwhelmed by grief waves, take a deep breath and let all the sorrows go away with every exhale and repeat the positive affirmation:” I am safe, I am secure, I am loved and I deserve a peaceful life”.
6.SEEK PROFESSIONAL HELP:
Although reading self healing books are wonderful but they may not be able to help you as an experienced therapist and other mental health professionals can do. In the case of self-esteem in particular, psychologists use cognitive behavioral therapy. In this method, a therapist will help you identify the reason of your issues and help solve them.