lifestyle

Warning Signs of a Toxic Relationship

PHOTO: JD Mason
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How could you tell if your relationship had gone “sour” and reached a “dead end”? What are the warning signs you should look for to confirm that your relationship that was once beautiful and sweet has now become toxic and unbearable? Why is it important for us to know if our relationship is heading in the wrong direction? What should we do about it? Unfortunately, some people are afraid to ask themselves these questions for fear that they would be “blamed” for the end of their relationship. They would rather “ignore” the signs of a toxic relationship and “pretend” that nothing is wrong when in reality, their relationship is already “dying.”

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I have always believed that if you truly loved a person, you would do everything to keep him or her, no matter what the circumstances are. Perhaps I am being a “hopeless romantic” and a bit of a “fool” for believing this, but my mother used to tell me that if you truly loved a person, “you would do everything just to be with that special someone, no matter what the outcome would be.” But what if, after doing everything you could for the person you loved, he or she started to be “cold” toward you and no longer look forward to spending time with you? Has your relationship become toxic? What do you need to know so you can salvage your relationship? Below are sure signs that your relationship has become toxic:

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Your loved one is always giving you the excuse that he or she is “busy” –if you noticed lately that your loved one is always saying that he or she is “busy” to spend time with you, chances are, your relationship is heading for the rocks! If you really love someone, you will always find a way to spend time with him or her. As the saying goes, “if there’s a will, there’s a way.” Using the excuse that one is always “busy” is an obvious sign that he or she has already lost interest in the person who used to be the “apple” of his or her eyes.

Your loved one is always “fighting” with you over trivial matters—if all you do is fight with your loved ones over trifle matters, then it is a sign that you have a toxic relationship. Some people who are afraid to tell their partner that they wanted out of their relationship would start a fight in hopes that the other person would get the message “loud and clear.” Unfortunately, instead of accepting that their relationship had turned for the worse, some people choose to play “blind” and simply ignore the warning signs of a toxic relationship.

Your loved one is always “negative” toward you—if all you get from your loved is a “no” and he or she doesn’t have a nice word to say about you lately, then, it is obvious that you have a toxic relationship. Someone who loves you will always say good things about you. Someone, who does not like or love you anymore will surely find “nasty” and “negative” words to ruin your mood and put you down.

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Your loved one “prefers” his or her friends over you—If you noticed that your partner or someone you loved is spending more and more time with his or her friends than with you, then, it is a sure sign that your relationship is drifting away. There is nothing more painful than being ignored by someone you loved and being his or her “second” priority only. If you love someone, you will make him or her your “top” or “number one” priority. Not second.

Your loved one is becoming “violent” or “physically, mentally and emotionally abusive”—This is the “last nail to the coffin.” If the love of your life has started to hurt and abuse you—whether physically, mentally or emotionally, then it is a sure sign that you should seriously consider if you would still want to stay or get out of your toxic relationship. No one, under all circumstances, should be abused physically, mentally or emotionally. Everyone deserves to be happy and content in his or her relationship.

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Once you have confirmed that all the signs mentioned above are present in your relationship, then it is time for you to decide whether or not you would stay in that relationship. If you are in doubt about what to do, then, you can seek advice from your parents, friends, relatives and relationship experts to help you make up your mind, if you would still continue with your toxic relationship.


If you would ask me for my honest-to-goodness advice, well, if I were in a toxic relationship, I would first try to see how I could salvage my relationship. Being a hopeless romantic, I still believe in true love. But after trying everything and still nothing worked to change the situation, then, I would just “pick up the pieces” and then move on with my life. Your relationship should make you happy, not miserable. You should know until when you can hang on or get out of a toxic relationship and move on with your life. Sad but that is the right thing to do. No use in hanging onto something that is long gone. No use of watering a dead rose. No use crying over spilt milk. It is time to move on, no matter how much it will hurt you. Such is life.

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Nanju Francisco
Nanju Francisco

Nanju Francisco is a two-time media awardee in Journalism, a seasoned editor & journalist based in Bahrain. She worked as a journalist in Brunei Darussalam, a newscaster in Bahrain TV, and Editor-in-Chief in Diyaryo Pinoy Bahrain Edition.

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