“Forgive and forget” is one saying that is “easier said than done.” After all, it is not easy to forgive someone who has offended you so deeply. It is even harder to forget what he or she has done to hurt you, thus, leaving you with a broken and bitter heart. How could you forgive someone who had stolen your partner or cheated you? How could you forgive someone who had mistreated or hurt a member of your family or killed your beloved pet? How could you forget if someone had betrayed and abandoned you after having a relationship with that person for many years?
Frankly speaking, you may forgive whoever had offended or hurt you but it would take a long process and years, to forget what he or she had done to break your heart and spirit. Despite this, it is very important for us to forgive our neighbor and forget what they did to hurt our feelings. Why? Below are some of the reasons that would explain why it is important to forgive and forget:
It is vital to your general health—All our emotions affect us in ways that we are not aware of. For instance, when you are in love, you are always happy, excited and inspired. You will always see the beauty and love in everything you do because of your loved one. It will put you in a good mood and make you feel relaxed the whole time. This will make you less prone to illnesses. On the other hand, if you are nurturing hatred and anger in your heart, you are not far from having anxiety, stress, nervousness, palpitation, heart problem and a lot more.
It is no use crying over spilt milk—If someone you loved deserted or abandoned you for another person, it would definitely break your heart. However, it is no use crying over spilt milk. He or she chose to be with another person and for sure it would hurt like hell. But you cannot force someone to stay with you if he or she would rather be someplace else with someone. All you could do is not to hate your loved one but to forgive her or him for leaving you and bury the hatchet, although it is not easy to do.
It removes all the negativity from your life—When you forgive those people who hurt you, “hatred” would not have any place in your heart. I am a living example of this. I have been mistreated, bullied, cheated with my money, beaten up and worst, abused mentally and emotionally by some people I loved and cared about. At first, I struggled to accept what they did to me because I had given them all my love, money, time and efforts. Despite the mental agony and heart aches they had caused me, I decided to forgive them and to forget what they had done to me. In the end, God vindicated me and all these people came back to me and asked my forgiveness. The word “hatred” does not have a space in my heart.
It makes you a better person—For every pain that we are experiencing in life, there is a lesson to be learned. If someone had caused you so much, you would start to question things and analyze them in a way, you had never done before. By doing so, you would learn that perhaps, you too, did something wrong to hurt the person who mistreated you. Then, maybe, you should also ask that person to forgive you, so there will be no ill feelings between the two of you. This will make you a better person.
You are setting a good example for children and young people—Children and young people always follow the examples of their parents or elders. If you show them that you are a forgiving person, they will follow suit. If you show them that you hate the whole world, then don’t be surprised if they would hate everyone around them. We are our own advertisements, so let us be good examples to the young generation.
You are saving your relationship—Forgiving and forgetting is an absolute must if you want to save your relationship. Whether it is a relation with your spouse, partner, parent, sibling,employer, colleague, etc., you must accept the fact that we are all human beings, prone to committing mistakes every now and then. If someone had offended you, then don’t think twice. If you want to save your relationship with that person, it is better to eat your “pride” than to lose him or her. Don’t make a record of his or her wrong doings. Always, give others another chance especially your loved ones.
You will find peace and forgiveness yourself—Forgiveness has been part of human history and is at the center of most religions. Since time immemorial, the importance of “forgiving others” had been taught by religious leaders and spiritual fathers. For instance, in our religion, we believe that God will forgive us for our sins, if we forgive our neighbor. In other words, you cannot be forgiven from your sins, unless you forgive others from theirs. I always remind myself about this truth. And when my heart starts to be stubborn, I tell myself: if God could forgive us for our sins, who am I not to forgive my neighbors? This is the reason why, despite all the hurt I got from many people in the past, I am at peace with them, with myself and with God. It is only by doing so that you could achieve inner peace and happiness.
Bottom line is, nobody is perfect. We all commit mistakes, one way or the other and we hurt people around us, whether intentionally or not. What is important is to follow the golden rule of “loving and forgiving our enemies” and “forgetting” their faults or wrong doings, so that we could have peace, not only with other people, but more importantly, within our hearts. It is time to move on.
This is something I’m working on, and your article makes very strong and relevant points. Forgiveness can be harder if the person continues on their destructive streak and shows no remorse, but at some point, I hope I can get to make peace with this and mentally walk away